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Selasa, 29 September 2009

Testimony Tuesday

So for those of you that have yet to listen to us on The Jaded Nyer's blog radio show from last week, you have to take a listen to it. It was a very good show and it invoked a very good discussion amongst men and women. Here is the link for the show "Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?". However, there was a particular part of the show where we were all discussing our pet peeves. Everyone was describing what their partner does or did that irks/irked the hell out of you in a relationship.

Well a few days after the show aired an anonymous reader/listener left a comment on our blog post. They wanted to weigh in on the whole pet peeve situation and chose to reveal theirs to us and hopefully get our opinion on their comment. We rarely receive anonymous comments so this was sort of out of the blue to us. However, since the person chose to be anonymous we decided to go ahead and reply to her in a blog. So then that spawned a whole new blog segment we will be calling "Testimony Tuesday."

So, if you have an anonymous Testimony or confession on any subject and want our opinions or that of our readers, please feel free to post an anonymous comment on our blog. It doesn't even have to be about you, it can even be a situation that someone you know is in and perhaps you just need a different perspective. Whatever the case go ahead and leave a comment or even send an email to and we'll make it a part of this new blog segment. All comments and emails will remain anonymous. Just keep in mind we may make light of the situation (because that's just what we do don't take offense), but in the end we'll try to give you some real, honest, and hopefully helpful advice.

So without further ado here is our first "Testimony Tuesday"...

Dear brothers

I've been reading & following your blog anonymously 4 a while now & I've never left a comment until now. After checking out u guys on the blog talk radio show the other night I wanted to make a comment & hopefully get your honest opinions on something. First off it was a good show & much like your blog u kept it real. So keep up the good work but right now I'm hoping you'll keep it real wit me too.

On the show when u were talking about pet peeves and what annoys u about your man/woman on the show I wanted 2 call in then but couldnt because my man was with me. I've been with my man 4 bout 2 1/2 years & we've been living together 4 the last 6months. While all is extremely well with our living together situation there is 1 thing he does that drives me nuts!!!! Now 2 some it may be petty but 2 me its become major.

My man is a bigger guy & he likes 2eat but I have no problems at all with his size itis perfectly fine wit me. But what I do have a problem with is 1 place he likes 2 eat & that's in the bed! And I don't mean in a sexual way! He literally will eat full meals snacks & deserts in the bed. I tried 2 deal with it but it got 2 a point I had 2 say something. Well that conversation didnt go over 2 well & it turned into a huge argument. The bottom line is that even after saying something he still continues 2 do it!

I love this man & feel he's the one 4 me but this is an extremely frustrating & aggravating habit of his & I dont know what 2 do 2 get him 2 quit it.

Please give me your honest opinion & please keep it 100% real as I'm at my witts end with this situation.

Thanks in advance.

Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Well its needless to say she loves her man like a fat kid loves cake, but it seems he's definitely trying to have his cake and eat it in bed too. Lol.

**After a 1 hour pause**

CR: You get my response man?

Driza Dre: Damn man, my bad, must've had a weed flashback

DD: So my man is leaving crumbs in the bed... Well I say be happy its only cookie crumbs. Lol

CR: Lol. Clearly there are much worse problems in relationships. And although "he eats in bed and u not talking sexually" he's obviously handling his biz in that regard or she would've put him on blast even more! But my first instinct is to move the bed into the kitchen or dining room 1 day while he's gone and move the dining room table to the bedroom! Lol

CR: Or better yet start rationing out the P. That'll always make a nigga straighten up. And by P I don't mean Pudding or Peach Cobbler unless those are some of your freaky little nicknames for the P. LoL. But for real every time he eats in bed put the P on lock. Or if you're bold put a cake in the bed next to you in some sexy lingerie. Then tell him like that T.I. song and say he can have whichever he likes. Just be prepared that him and Betty Crocker may be creeping on the low and he may not choose you. Lol

DD: While he and Betty might go back a lot further, ain't no real negro gone pass up the P for the sake of eating in the bed. While this issue may seem petty to him he's still gonna be smart enough to know that he can have his snacks elsewhere, and keep the bed for his ''goodies''

CR: Aight well in all seriousness I would say she definitely needs to talk to him about it again. I'm not sure in what manner she may have approached him the first time, but if he blew up over it then it somehow must've struck a nerve. Maybe he thought she was talking about or complaining of his weight. But clearly that's not an issue, as she expressed in her comment. So maybe she needs to reassure him of that and just let him know she just prefers to keep the bed free of food.

DD: Or at minimum, just stress that she'd at least like him to clean up after himself. I figure that though he still might not appreciate her coming at him, he may oblige her by trying to be neater

CR: I'm just thinking there's gotta be a compromise here. But if not, it may be risky but put some bugs in the bed. If he sees that maybe he'll know eating in the bed is off limits. No one wants to eat with bugs nor sleep with them.

DD: That's REAL extreme. If you gotta go that far, it may be time to get rid of him

CR: Yeah its extreme but she obviously loves the man but he may just be a little extra persuasion. That is if talking to him and compromising doesn't work. But I can't see him being absolutely unreceptive if she approaches him in a kind and truly concerned manner. Unless there is really a deeper issue that is not on the surface.

DD: So you look at it like Bernie Mac: "they gotta learn, they gotta learn!"

CR: Lol. Well if this was who wants to be a millionaire my final answer would be this: Try talking to him again and see why he got upset the last time the subject came up. Maybe its something deeper and he maybe felt you were attacking his weight. And from there just reassure him by letting him know the only issue is the eating in the bed not his weight. If that doesn't work then maybe extreme is the answer. If nothing else extreme will get his attention at how serious the issue is to you. If you 2 have been together as long as you have and love each other as much as you say then I have no doubts that you will get past this. I predict he will compromise and the only eating in the bed won't leave any crumbs behind, at least we hope. Lol

DD: As my brother discussed on the radio show, you have to pick your battles. Assess if the crumbs in bed is really that major. If it is, then you may need to take drastic measures to bring him around to your way of thinking. If its not that major, then approach the subject in a manner that's more of a suggestion than a Relationship death nail. And just maybe in the end, you'll be able to have your cake and eat it too. Lol

Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any tips or helpful advice to Anonymous please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post.



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