Just a Friend??

"Oh baby you, you got what I need...but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend"



We all laugh when remembering the above video for Biz Markie's song just a friend with him sporting a Mozart wig and singing off key. Although in his 1989 song he chose to approach the subject in a comical sense, what the knowledge that Biz was dropping back then is still relevant over 20 years later. In fact, I would venture to say that the "just a friend" problem continues to be a crucial problem or burden in today's relationship world.

I'm sure most of us have been here before in one way or the other. Whether you're in a relationship and have a "platonic" friendship with a member of the opposite sex or if you're single and have a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Regardless of which situation you fall into either way somehow Biz's words will hit home.

Another comedic take on the situation came from comedian Chris Rock. His stance was "women have platonic friends, while guys have women that we just haven't f**ked yet." His words not mine. Check the video below (Sorry for the low quality).




Regardless of which side of the fence you're on this is one subject that we can never get away from when it comes to men, women, friendship and relationships. I've definitely been in this situation before and had to deal with it from both sides of the issue. However, I won't go into that too much on this blog. But if you'd like to hear more of my view point and stance on the issue I cordially invite you to continue the conversation via @TheJadedNyer's Blog Talk Radio Show airing tonight at 9pm CST, 10pm EST. Click the link below to check it out.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thejadednyer/2010/03/16/mars-vs-venus-can-men-women-just-be-friends

I've been invited to be a guest host and speak on this very subject. We'll delve deep into it and address topics such as: If you're both single can you really just be friends, what is considered 'just a friend' anyway and is there ALWAYS sexual tension involved? So it should definitely be a good convo. Unfortunately, I'll be dolo as my blog brother will be at work and unable to lend his viewpoint. But I'll do my best to hold it down. Please tune in, call in and give your perspective, visit the chat room, and follow along via twitter @crecks.


--C-Recks--

Just a Friend??

"Oh baby you, you got what I need...but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend"



We all laugh when remembering the above video for Biz Markie's song just a friend with him sporting a Mozart wig and singing off key. Although in his 1989 song he chose to approach the subject in a comical sense, what the knowledge that Biz was dropping back then is still relevant over 20 years later. In fact, I would venture to say that the "just a friend" problem continues to be a crucial problem or burden in today's relationship world.

I'm sure most of us have been here before in one way or the other. Whether you're in a relationship and have a "platonic" friendship with a member of the opposite sex or if you're single and have a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Regardless of which situation you fall into either way somehow Biz's words will hit home.

Another comedic take on the situation came from comedian Chris Rock. His stance was "women have platonic friends, while guys have women that we just haven't f**ked yet." His words not mine. Check the video below (Sorry for the low quality).




Regardless of which side of the fence you're on this is one subject that we can never get away from when it comes to men, women, friendship and relationships. I've definitely been in this situation before and had to deal with it from both sides of the issue. However, I won't go into that too much on this blog. But if you'd like to hear more of my view point and stance on the issue I cordially invite you to continue the conversation via @TheJadedNyer's Blog Talk Radio Show airing tonight at 9pm CST, 10pm EST. Click the link below to check it out.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thejadednyer/2010/03/16/mars-vs-venus-can-men-women-just-be-friends

I've been invited to be a guest host and speak on this very subject. We'll delve deep into it and address topics such as: If you're both single can you really just be friends, what is considered 'just a friend' anyway and is there ALWAYS sexual tension involved? So it should definitely be a good convo. Unfortunately, I'll be dolo as my blog brother will be at work and unable to lend his viewpoint. But I'll do my best to hold it down. Please tune in, call in and give your perspective, visit the chat room, and follow along via twitter @crecks.


--C-Recks--

Testimony Tuesday

Although this is being posted on a Wednesday this was technically done on a Tuesday. Welcome to another Testimony Tuesday. Last week's Testimony was a little off the hook. But we went ahead and broke it down the best we could. Lol. This week we received a couple of emails and then an anonymous comment to the blog. We'll be using that comment for today's "Testimony Tuesday." As always if you have a testimony that you want to share or are seeking advice or our opinions on you can always leave an anonymous comment on our blog or email callmecrecks@gmail.com. Without further ado here is this week's "Testimony Tuesday."

_____________________________________________

Dear Brothers',

A friend sent me an email asking my opinion on a situation and I thought I'd ask for your opinions:

What do you do when a friend wants to sleep with you? The friend knows your spouse but they are very very unhappy a home. And they feel that, just for one night and one night only, you’ll give them what they need?
_____________________________________________

C-Recks: Aight well I'll start by saying 3 words "game recognize game." Not that I've ever used this particular type of game, but if you've seen 1 you've seen em' all.

Driza Dre: right

CR: The comment doesn't specify, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that anonymous' friend is a female and the friend hitting her up for sex is a male. The reason being because this is only game that a nigga would use.

DD: That's what I was trying to figure out. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Well the first thing I thought was this... It ain't no way in hell this will be a one time thing

CR: Right

DD: So off the top you gotta let yo friend know what kinda situation she's getting herself into. Now she may care, she may not. But in my experiences, women may be comfortable with doing something like that once, maybe even twice. But most women absolutely will not be the woman on the side. And it sounds like that's the kinda situation she's headed for.

CR: Not only that, but according to the letter anonymous' friend is married and the guy trying to sleep with her knows her husband. We don't know if the guy is married as well we just know "it's a very very unhappy home." But I'm sure if they're close friends that she knows the guys significant other as well.

DD: Man, that just sounds like some all around "All My Children" stuff right there. My advice, anything that sounds like a Maury Povich episode, stay away!!! The lie detector determined, that was a lie.

CR: Lol. Yeah I totally agree man. I'd say think of this situation the way skinny brothers like myself think of Jail! Basically that's some shit you definitely wanna stay far far away from. LoL. Trust this guy is running or has run the same game before. And its probably like the wet tissue theory he throws it out there and sees if it sticks. Or if he gets to stick. Lol

DD: Of course. You can't knock the brotha for trying.

DD: And for the person who hit us with this question, honestly, you want to be very careful with the advice you give your friend. Cuz when this all blows up, you don't want to get hit by any of the flying emotional debris.

CR: And for her to even think of asking her friend (anonymous) for advice on what to do leads me to almost think its something deeper going on in her personal home life. Like maybe she's the one that's in a "very very unhappy home." The only reason I say that is because we all know that the average woman whose home life is all good usually wouldn't even think twice about declining this offer over and over until she got tired of it. And then when she did she would just end the friendship because he's obviously not respecting her marriage. So I think the friend may even be looking for some type of support or hoping someone (namely her friend anonymous) will give her the green light and tell her she should go ahead and do it so that she can have an excuse to go through with what she may be wanting to do anyways.

DD: aw yeah. When you know you're wrong, you're always hoping that some how some way, somebody will feel you, and green light your behavior. But that's when you really have to be a "good" friend and tell yo girl, don't go down this path. Good friend doesn't mean Yes man or Yes woman.

CR: Right cuz as a friend you know where this is headed we all do even Stevie Wonder can see that.

DD: On a quick side note, when Stevie passes, who's the new blind person that we can say saw something coming?

CR: Lol. Man Ray is gone too. So IDK good question though I'll think on it. Lol

DD: But back to the nature at hand. I would tell your friend to not go down that path. It ain't worth it. Even if you get one night of good sex, it may blow up, and cost you a lifetime of pain. You just never know. Not to mention the Karma aspect.

CR: Man exactly and as we all know "Karma Karma Karma come back to you harder!" I say anonymous' advice to their friend should definitely not support this type of behavior. If this guy is so "unhappy" at home he needs to get a divorce! Hell with Usher's new song "Papers" its giving people motivation to get divorced. So he needs to go home and put that song on repeat and call an attorney. The same goes for your friend if in fact she's unhappy and considering adultery as well.

CR: Idk how long she's known the guy, but the bottom line is that he's just being a nigga. And **in my Busta Rhymes voice ** "and that's just what niggaz do." Lol. I mean keep it real the nigga is just trying to hit. He's probably been eyeing that for as long as they've been friends and she's blocked or denied all his advances so this is his last ditch effort. And he's now hittin her with the guilt trip trying to weigh on her heart strings.

CR: I can hear the nigga crying now, "I'm so unhappy at home and for 1 night only you could at least make me happy." I'm not hating or knocking his game but nigga please! Or at least that's what I'd be saying if that was my friend. But you act accordingly. Good luck to you and to your friend.

_______________________________________________

Well that's all we got if you have any advice to add for anonymous please leave it in the comments. And if you have a testimony you can leave it in the comments or send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com

--Driza Dre--

--C-Recks--

Testimony Tuesday

Although this is being posted on a Wednesday this was technically done on a Tuesday. Welcome to another Testimony Tuesday. Last week's Testimony was a little off the hook. But we went ahead and broke it down the best we could. Lol. This week we received a couple of emails and then an anonymous comment to the blog. We'll be using that comment for today's "Testimony Tuesday." As always if you have a testimony that you want to share or are seeking advice or our opinions on you can always leave an anonymous comment on our blog or email callmecrecks@gmail.com. Without further ado here is this week's "Testimony Tuesday."

_____________________________________________

Dear Brothers',

A friend sent me an email asking my opinion on a situation and I thought I'd ask for your opinions:

What do you do when a friend wants to sleep with you? The friend knows your spouse but they are very very unhappy a home. And they feel that, just for one night and one night only, you’ll give them what they need?
_____________________________________________

C-Recks: Aight well I'll start by saying 3 words "game recognize game." Not that I've ever used this particular type of game, but if you've seen 1 you've seen em' all.

Driza Dre: right

CR: The comment doesn't specify, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that anonymous' friend is a female and the friend hitting her up for sex is a male. The reason being because this is only game that a nigga would use.

DD: That's what I was trying to figure out. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Well the first thing I thought was this... It ain't no way in hell this will be a one time thing

CR: Right

DD: So off the top you gotta let yo friend know what kinda situation she's getting herself into. Now she may care, she may not. But in my experiences, women may be comfortable with doing something like that once, maybe even twice. But most women absolutely will not be the woman on the side. And it sounds like that's the kinda situation she's headed for.

CR: Not only that, but according to the letter anonymous' friend is married and the guy trying to sleep with her knows her husband. We don't know if the guy is married as well we just know "it's a very very unhappy home." But I'm sure if they're close friends that she knows the guys significant other as well.

DD: Man, that just sounds like some all around "All My Children" stuff right there. My advice, anything that sounds like a Maury Povich episode, stay away!!! The lie detector determined, that was a lie.

CR: Lol. Yeah I totally agree man. I'd say think of this situation the way skinny brothers like myself think of Jail! Basically that's some shit you definitely wanna stay far far away from. LoL. Trust this guy is running or has run the same game before. And its probably like the wet tissue theory he throws it out there and sees if it sticks. Or if he gets to stick. Lol

DD: Of course. You can't knock the brotha for trying.

DD: And for the person who hit us with this question, honestly, you want to be very careful with the advice you give your friend. Cuz when this all blows up, you don't want to get hit by any of the flying emotional debris.

CR: And for her to even think of asking her friend (anonymous) for advice on what to do leads me to almost think its something deeper going on in her personal home life. Like maybe she's the one that's in a "very very unhappy home." The only reason I say that is because we all know that the average woman whose home life is all good usually wouldn't even think twice about declining this offer over and over until she got tired of it. And then when she did she would just end the friendship because he's obviously not respecting her marriage. So I think the friend may even be looking for some type of support or hoping someone (namely her friend anonymous) will give her the green light and tell her she should go ahead and do it so that she can have an excuse to go through with what she may be wanting to do anyways.

DD: aw yeah. When you know you're wrong, you're always hoping that some how some way, somebody will feel you, and green light your behavior. But that's when you really have to be a "good" friend and tell yo girl, don't go down this path. Good friend doesn't mean Yes man or Yes woman.

CR: Right cuz as a friend you know where this is headed we all do even Stevie Wonder can see that.

DD: On a quick side note, when Stevie passes, who's the new blind person that we can say saw something coming?

CR: Lol. Man Ray is gone too. So IDK good question though I'll think on it. Lol

DD: But back to the nature at hand. I would tell your friend to not go down that path. It ain't worth it. Even if you get one night of good sex, it may blow up, and cost you a lifetime of pain. You just never know. Not to mention the Karma aspect.

CR: Man exactly and as we all know "Karma Karma Karma come back to you harder!" I say anonymous' advice to their friend should definitely not support this type of behavior. If this guy is so "unhappy" at home he needs to get a divorce! Hell with Usher's new song "Papers" its giving people motivation to get divorced. So he needs to go home and put that song on repeat and call an attorney. The same goes for your friend if in fact she's unhappy and considering adultery as well.

CR: Idk how long she's known the guy, but the bottom line is that he's just being a nigga. And **in my Busta Rhymes voice ** "and that's just what niggaz do." Lol. I mean keep it real the nigga is just trying to hit. He's probably been eyeing that for as long as they've been friends and she's blocked or denied all his advances so this is his last ditch effort. And he's now hittin her with the guilt trip trying to weigh on her heart strings.

CR: I can hear the nigga crying now, "I'm so unhappy at home and for 1 night only you could at least make me happy." I'm not hating or knocking his game but nigga please! Or at least that's what I'd be saying if that was my friend. But you act accordingly. Good luck to you and to your friend.

_______________________________________________

Well that's all we got if you have any advice to add for anonymous please leave it in the comments. And if you have a testimony you can leave it in the comments or send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com

--Driza Dre--

--C-Recks--

Senseless

So as I'm sitting at work yesterday and checking out Facebook I happen to notice a couple of old High School people's status messages. They both referred to the death of someone we went to school with. Elliot Thompson. The first name was a name that I knew, but it also could have referred to a couple different people. The last name I had no clue of so I was at a loss as to who they were referring to. So I inquired from one of the individuals as to who they were referring to and what happen. When the girl responded she gave his name and said that he was shot and killed. I told her that the last name didn't ring a bell although I knew of more than one Elliot from high school. She then replied with a description saying he was a barber at a particular barber shop. I replied back that it can't be the same person I'm thinking of and expressed my condolences for his loss.

However, the person I had in mind had the same first name (I couldn't recall his last name) and was also a barber, it was not at the barber shop she mentioned. She replied back that it was indeed the same person and to go to another high school person's Facebook page and he had a picture of him up on his page. Well when I finally got around to checking out the picture it was after work hours. As I'm looking at the picture on my phone. It hit me! Damn That's E.

I went home after that and found the news story online here.

Of course like any death of someone you know it causes you to reflect on the person and memories of the person. Well to be honest Elliot was not even a friend of mines back in high school. I knew who he was and would see him. But we didn't speak and I didn't have any classes with him. Elliot was a couple years older than me and in fact he actually graduated in my brother's class in 1996. After high school he became a barber. In high school believe it or not I had braids. But towards the end of high school I cut off all my hair and began getting hair cuts. Well I was first going to a particular barber at the shop I was at. That was until one day that barber wasn't there and that's when I saw Elliot. Or E-Ness as we referred to him as. I didn't even know he cut hair. But I went to him to get my hair cut and began going to him regularly after that. I believe he even cut my hair for like my prom.

Well for whatever reason I started using a different barber after a while and eventually found myself having my hair cut with the present barber I have now. I've been going to the same barber I have now for probably 8 or 9 years now. My barber has changed shops quite often and of course I would just follow him and go to wherever he was cutting at. From time to time he would relocate to a shop where Elliot was cutting at as well. I would of course say what's up to E and chat with him etc. A couple of years ago my barber had a party at his place and invited everyone in the shop. Of course Elliot was there. I recall kicking it hard that night with him especially. Well eventually my barber changed shops again and then at the end of last year my barber opened his own shop.

This was a great deal as I had seen my barber grinding going shop to shop and he definitely deserved to have his own. Needless to say that slow but surely many of the other barbers he cut with back in other shops began coming over to his shop. Probably a few months ago I went in for a cut and I saw Elliot. To be honest I probably hadn't really seen him since the party a couple of years ago. We hollered for a minute and were asking about each other and what was going on in each others lives. We both spoke about our kids and I remember that he spoke proudly about his daughter and I about my son. Ever since then when I would go to the shop I would see E and say what's up and holla at him for a sec just to see what's good. When I went to get my hair cut this past Thursday prior to going out of town for the weekend I saw Elliot. He was chilling sitting in his chair on his laptop like I often saw him doing. After my cut I walked past him and said what's up and we shook up. Who knew that would be the last time I would shake his hand.

So although I didn't kick it with E often or holla at him outside of the barber shop he was still someone I considered a friend and to be cool with. His death is tragic and very sad. I think about his daughter that is most likely around my son's age and it saddens me even more. Gun violence is so rampant in the city. But when you see and hear about it as tragic as it is we still are distant from it. However, when it hits home it really hits home. It's just such a shame that a young man (age 31), a father has been taken away and most likely over some nonsense.

I hate to sound preachy and we all hear this often. But its true no one is promised tomorrow. The friend or family member you see today can not be here next week. So embrace your loved ones and friends while you still have them amongst you. As Ice Cube said in his song Dead Homiez "Cuz nobody really ever know, when it's gonna be they family on the front row." Real Talk.


R.I.P. Elliot Thompson aka E-Ness



--C-Recks--

Senseless

So as I'm sitting at work yesterday and checking out Facebook I happen to notice a couple of old High School people's status messages. They both referred to the death of someone we went to school with. Elliot Thompson. The first name was a name that I knew, but it also could have referred to a couple different people. The last name I had no clue of so I was at a loss as to who they were referring to. So I inquired from one of the individuals as to who they were referring to and what happen. When the girl responded she gave his name and said that he was shot and killed. I told her that the last name didn't ring a bell although I knew of more than one Elliot from high school. She then replied with a description saying he was a barber at a particular barber shop. I replied back that it can't be the same person I'm thinking of and expressed my condolences for his loss.

However, the person I had in mind had the same first name (I couldn't recall his last name) and was also a barber, it was not at the barber shop she mentioned. She replied back that it was indeed the same person and to go to another high school person's Facebook page and he had a picture of him up on his page. Well when I finally got around to checking out the picture it was after work hours. As I'm looking at the picture on my phone. It hit me! Damn That's E.

I went home after that and found the news story online here.

Of course like any death of someone you know it causes you to reflect on the person and memories of the person. Well to be honest Elliot was not even a friend of mines back in high school. I knew who he was and would see him. But we didn't speak and I didn't have any classes with him. Elliot was a couple years older than me and in fact he actually graduated in my brother's class in 1996. After high school he became a barber. In high school believe it or not I had braids. But towards the end of high school I cut off all my hair and began getting hair cuts. Well I was first going to a particular barber at the shop I was at. That was until one day that barber wasn't there and that's when I saw Elliot. Or E-Ness as we referred to him as. I didn't even know he cut hair. But I went to him to get my hair cut and began going to him regularly after that. I believe he even cut my hair for like my prom.

Well for whatever reason I started using a different barber after a while and eventually found myself having my hair cut with the present barber I have now. I've been going to the same barber I have now for probably 8 or 9 years now. My barber has changed shops quite often and of course I would just follow him and go to wherever he was cutting at. From time to time he would relocate to a shop where Elliot was cutting at as well. I would of course say what's up to E and chat with him etc. A couple of years ago my barber had a party at his place and invited everyone in the shop. Of course Elliot was there. I recall kicking it hard that night with him especially. Well eventually my barber changed shops again and then at the end of last year my barber opened his own shop.

This was a great deal as I had seen my barber grinding going shop to shop and he definitely deserved to have his own. Needless to say that slow but surely many of the other barbers he cut with back in other shops began coming over to his shop. Probably a few months ago I went in for a cut and I saw Elliot. To be honest I probably hadn't really seen him since the party a couple of years ago. We hollered for a minute and were asking about each other and what was going on in each others lives. We both spoke about our kids and I remember that he spoke proudly about his daughter and I about my son. Ever since then when I would go to the shop I would see E and say what's up and holla at him for a sec just to see what's good. When I went to get my hair cut this past Thursday prior to going out of town for the weekend I saw Elliot. He was chilling sitting in his chair on his laptop like I often saw him doing. After my cut I walked past him and said what's up and we shook up. Who knew that would be the last time I would shake his hand.

So although I didn't kick it with E often or holla at him outside of the barber shop he was still someone I considered a friend and to be cool with. His death is tragic and very sad. I think about his daughter that is most likely around my son's age and it saddens me even more. Gun violence is so rampant in the city. But when you see and hear about it as tragic as it is we still are distant from it. However, when it hits home it really hits home. It's just such a shame that a young man (age 31), a father has been taken away and most likely over some nonsense.

I hate to sound preachy and we all hear this often. But its true no one is promised tomorrow. The friend or family member you see today can not be here next week. So embrace your loved ones and friends while you still have them amongst you. As Ice Cube said in his song Dead Homiez "Cuz nobody really ever know, when it's gonna be they family on the front row." Real Talk.


R.I.P. Elliot Thompson aka E-Ness



--C-Recks--